Autumn Night

 photo by Maximilian R

Autumn Night

The hands on the clock hit 1:00 AM, and you still sit alone.

Even though your eyes are tired, you refuse to close them, your mind stubbornly resists sleep. You pull the hood over your head, letting it fall back onto the headrest as you gaze upward, tired eyes half open. Idly, your fingers tap the arm of the chair, your mind wanders.

Close your eyes, listen to the wind outside; it whispers something, some sort of promise you want to know. With a sudden urge, you stand, break free, forget the darkness behind you. You take your coat, and as you step out into the night, the light you're looking for isn't there. As you walk down lonely streets, neon lights reflecting in pools of collected water, you feel the cold creeping down your spine, biting your exposed face. Where's the light? Night seems to be the safest time to wander... no one will see you, no one will recognize you. The safest, but the darkest; the coldest. A sharp wind blows the fringe of your auborn hair back as you stand alone on an abandoned street, dry leaves let go of their branches, falling to the ground with a last sigh. You feel a rain drop touch your cheek, and you look up to the expressionless sky, holding out your hand. One after another, they begin to fall, but you don't care. You feel numb. Slowly you walk, aimlessly, with no direction. Where were your friends? They are still blinking in that bright light. It hits you - what light? It's bright, very bright, but at the same time, it's dark.

This darkness is so cold, so lonely. You feel it touch your bones, your soul. Something inside of you gives, and that beaming smile that was once on your face can't cover the tears that build inside, the fear. You pass the sleeve of your coat over your weary eyes, brushing the warm tears away. Where is that light? Where's that light you want to find? Look around, my dear boy - it's written in your very bones. Turn around, realize why this has happened to you; the answer is in that Book back at your house. It's sitting there by your bed, under that magazine; go pick it up. You've read it so many times, but you don't understand it. You've prayed, but not with faith. Give it all over - let your pride die and bow.

The sound of crushing metal and the sickening thump under the car fill your ears; the sight of shattering glass, the damp, rainy night that it happened - realize why. The answer is there, in that Book.

You take in the freezing air; it burns your lungs. The light you want to find burns your heart.

A car passes by, the headlights glare into your eyes, blinding you for a split second. Something inside likes that darkness, the other screams in fear of the cold. You're standing alone, you need more than yourself; realize you can't do it. Give it all to Him.

The clock tiks on, and your heart keeps burning.

An Autumn night, 1:30 AM. 



Please check out the new tab, "Heart Poems", for updates when I publish them. ^.^ 

Game Night Fun

Last night we went to 'Family Game Night' at our church; we has a blast, to say the least, and took yet another photo of 'The Gang' - that's what we call ourselves. :)

Check out these pictures to see how we've changed!

June 2010

 Christmas 2010

 June 2011

June 2011

September 2011

We're all such good friends; I love each one of them SO much! 

To my dear, amazing friends of seven years - I love you guys! You're amazing, keep me laughing, and encourage me in sometimes annoying ways. ^.^ 

      We've been together for seven years - we've practically grown up together! (Okay, not literally - but in big ways!) 

Love your friends - never take them for granted. 

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more so as you see the day drawing near. 

Matthew 18:20

For where two are three are gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst. 

Fighting!

- Hannah

Poems from the Heart

 I've decided to start a series of poems, hopefully, that are meant to relate to many people's situations. This one is about writing a person who isn't saved; I know lots of people in this situation, who are trying to be a light, so that's one reason for this.

Now, when I say 'poetry' - I'll warn you - I'm not good at it! I've never really written it, so this is more of an "emotional thought chain". ^.^ Just deal with it. =D 

I hope you like it... even if it's not that great. :) If you have any subjects you'd like me to write about, leave a comment and give me the details - maybe I can do something for you!

Fighting!

photo from Google Images

"A Letter"

I sit at my desk, holding loosely a pen

I gaze out at the rain, wondering when

I'll be able to tell you just how I feel.

I search the Bible, looking for words -

something I can say, write down, that will make sense.

Why is it so hard? Why won't they come?

Some people think this is silly – but I'm not having fun.

Rain blurs outside sounds and lights;

I wonder what you're doing –

why are you so blinded by the world's plights?

And here I am, searching for something to say,

but it doesn't come easy – a letter to you.

You're so lost, you keep turning away;

What can I write that will make it through?

A letter is all I have to give – a letter and prayers.

It's all I can do, though I feel like I'm doing nothing.

A letter, one that I don't even know will make it to your hands;

Time passes by, still words slip past me like sand.

My stoic writer, why do you cry?

Even when you don't, I see it in those deep, vivid eyes.

You smile while they're looking – while they're not, you turn away;

There's a burden on your heart, even if you ignore what I say.

You mean the world to me, and even I don't understand;

what is all this? Why is this happening, this great, interwoven plan?

Sometimes you're so close I can touch you, but still so far away -

other times you're great distances, but I feel like I can hear what you say.

Stop standing tall – kneel down and bow

The Lord of all made you – cast down your pride.

The world may love you, but in the end it only brings pain -

I'm here to pray for you with tears,

that you'll lose this lifestyle so that you may gain.

If I didn't love you, I'd never risk being hated by you for what I say -

Listen to me: this is my heart – for you I pray.

Hand over your stubbornness, get rid of this hate -

He will wash you, rid all dirt from your life slate.

A letter is all I can do – a letter for you.

I pick up my pen, and before God I pray:

"Give me wisdom, use me for what You want to say-

You are the potter, I am the clay."

You're deep eyes search for something – some sort of truth;

it's before your face, but you resist, wanting proof.

For years you struggled to be at the top,

but now you're there, you're wondering if you should stop.

Your obstinate heart screams no, but deep inside,

you know what you should do, the path you should go.

Life is slipping past you, and you're on your way to destroying it -

stop, listen, hear what He says – the Law is in your very bones; you try to deny,

but every night alone, you keep crying, deep inside.

You stand tall on stage, put on a stoic face.

The lights glare down at you – you used to blink in their brightness;

but now you only stare, used to its blindness.

Sweat beads down your skin, and with a strong voice,

you try to let out what you feel – but you know there's something deeper,

something you don't quite understand...

so here I sit, pen in hand.

Maybe I can tell you, maybe I can express

the hurt that I feel when I watch you under so much worldly stress.

If only you knew His peace, if only you would surrender all;

if only you would cast away your pride, bow down and fall.

To you I write, to you this letter – to you my heart.

Forget that deafening roar for only a moment while I tell you,

Listen to what He has to say.

The tears I've cried for you, I can't count them all.

I look out my window as the seasons change; Summer is fading to Fall.

With all of my heart I will write, I will pray, I will cry -

With everything inside of me, through Him I will try.

Look up to the blue sky, you know He's there;

He's watching you; you can't escape, from Him there's nowhere.

The city lights are shining bright, the cold winds begin to blow.

This letter, this one letter, I whisper a prayer, and let it go.

It's in His hands now, and I hope it comes to yours;

This letter for you.

A letter is all I can give, a letter to you.

You're missing, but you're always a heartbeat from me.

I don't know where you are; I keep watching, I keep hoping -

If I could be close beside you, I'd tell you about Him,

If I could reach out and touch you, I'd show you His light.

You claim Him, but you don't live Him, and so many times I've cried;

My beautiful person – may you surrender all and stand by His side.

So I pick up my pen, gaze out the window, stare at the blank page,

and I begin to write fervently, praying that you'll be released from the world's cage.

This letter is all I have, this letter to you.

Gray clouds loom outside, a cold wind blows;

Does this sound familiar?

You stand on a hill of dancing reeds alone.

This letter, this letter for you – I write it with my heart, praying that it will come through.

This letter... this letter to you.

Hilarious!

Bloopers from one of my favorite shows....
Michael Landon had always been one of my favorites!

Thinking Of You

I walk through lonely, quiet woods, the sound of birds wings flapping passed briskly, the faint, last calls of birds. The sun sets behind the towering pine trees - and again, I think of you.
      You who need prayer, who need Christ, like so many - whoever you are, wherever you are, again I think of you.

The last rays of a dying sun - again, I think of you. I pray again, for you.

Jesus, I love You - You are my rock and my salvation.

- Hannah

Photo Updates

Alright - I realized I haven't put up many of my own photos, so - take a look! I captured the above one yesterday evening of my three babies...

 My Big Boy! He's grown like crazy...

 Silkie

 Mama's Boy

 He's only a year old, you know... look how BIG he is!

 Me an' my Max

Dillon being horribly cute...

And these... uhg. They're tearing up my beautiful country road. It's disgusting. I went down it today - look at the difference:

 This is the SAME SHOT....

 SAME SHOT

Can you believe that? ARG that gripes me! Here's what I say to it:

Oh well... life must go on. :P 

Please be praying for me. I'm under a lot of stress... and I ain't handling it very well. >.< 

But God is good. Always.

Fighting.

- Hannah

Jeremiah 29:11

Of Dust Dragons and DaeHyun....

Credit goes to photographer

Yesterday, I went over to my friend Caroline's house, and we had an absolutely great time - one thing we did was organize her room. She has a pretty big room, but there's a lot of stuff in it that doesn't have a place. It was pretty hilarious; we cleaned it all up, except for some odds and ends on the bed, and as we were cleaning, listening to up beat music, laughing, we started talking about dust dragons - yeah, I said dragons. We've renamed them. It's a trend. A new trend. Instead of dust bunnies.

Dust Dragons:
Small, collective mounds of dusty material often found under beds, hiding in corners, or in the closet. Dirty, but adorably cute. Can cause choking at times, but amends with making you smile at its cuteness. Comes in a variety of colors: often gray, with a splash of creativity, depending on the environment. Sometimes can look insane, maybe scary, but always harmless - needs kept under control, and maybe taught a few things...

Dust Dragons. ^.^

Would you like to hear another oddity of ours? Good - I thought you would...
Caroline's down the hall putting dirty clothes in the washer. I'm in her room cleaning off the dresser.
"There's a blood stain on my shirt!" she exclaims. My reaction: yells "DAEHYUN!"
... okay, call me weird. There's an explanation, I promise...
I happen to beat up a smiling angel of mine in my story, who's name is DaeHyun - so automatically, when she yells "blood!", I yell "DaeHyun!" We started laughing hysterically over it, and Caroline says,
"Ookay - I scream blood, she screams Daehyun - this is gonna turn into a new trend, isn't it?"
"Sure is!" I laugh. So, from now on, we shall make this connection. Blood = Daehyun. Tada!

-.-

Alright, alright... I'm a little on the loopy side. ^.^ But, dat's me!

Life is really good lately, you know? I went out onto the back deck at 5:12 yesterday morning, and the moon was just going down behind the tree line. The air was cold, and as I was standing out there, looking at everything under the ghostly lighting and the stars that were so vivid in the night sky, I began to pray. Prayer is such a powerful thing. It's amazing beyond belief. It's beautiful.
Whatever you do, wherever you're at, pray. I saw a sign on a church yesterday that I really liked:

"A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel."

Simple, but sweet. You might want to write it down in your journals.

Oh! By the way! For a fresh excerpt from Cafe, go to the "My Writings" page and scroll down; you'll find an excerpt I recently put up. Enjoy!

Fighting!
- Hannah

... DUSTDRAGONS!

A Poem

 Credit goes to Photographer

My dear friend Caroline wrote this a while ago, and I just got around to reading it - I thought it was simply beautiful. It's so heartfelt.
      It's a sad mixture of wondering and worrying. She writes so many beautiful poems, but I think this one's my favorite. Her one on smiling is amazing, and the one on summer is even better - but I think this one tops them all off. I wish I could write like this, girl! =D

Please enjoy this thoughtful piece... hear the silence.

Credit goes to Photographer

"Stop, Turn Around... Hear the silence... I'm speaking. 

Your brilliant eyes flash with fire
 Your spirit is always fighting
 But you're beginning to tire
 I can see it in your face, smiling

 Your eyes drift in a different direction
 Your shoulders are slumped
 When they aren't looking, you lose your expression
 What's holding you back, my artistic boy?


Your pen strikes the paper, night is nigh
 You work your heart and soul
 Perfection is all you want, you try and try
 Reaching, even though it's all cold

 Your ocean of thoughts are hidden behind
 Eyes that glimmer in the spotlight
 It's obvious that you are trying your best to find
 Why you've been blinded by tonight

 They don't know, I don't know
 But I still see it, somewhere, a quiet crying
 Not the kind you put on for show
 But inside, you're dying, my stoic, silent writer.



Flash a smile, make a confession
 You're front and center, and you don't know why
 You feel like this is all misdirection
 A grand plot to make you continue living the lie

 You know that this isn't the way a righteous man
 Acts when given such a gift, but now
 You want to keep that place, you continue to stand
 Even though you know you should bow

 Truth is slapping in your face, yet you turn away
 You want to stay in this place
 It's like something's taken over you, since that day
 Why do you sing with such a solemn face?



You're following; it's all you know to do
 Following something broken and wild
 You hold onto their example, set before you
 Because you're really still a child

 Too young, now nothing's gonna hold you
 Your impetuous face is sweet
 Your smiles are friendly and seem true
 But I think inside, you're longing for direction

What should I say now? I don't know
 Except that the last time I saw you
 I didn't want to think you were that way, so
 I thought for a long time about the truth



You always make me laugh,
 You always make me smile
 But there's something about that
 I have to stop and think a while

 Why do you always seem cheerful,
 Yet behind that face so carefree
 I wonder if there's really something woeful
 Something you let no one see.


It's all a big mystery, behind each one
But finding the truth isn't difficult
I know you need help and that you can't run
And your lives are filled with tumult

Reaching you...
I want to at least point toward the Light
I need to
And make it, just a little bit, all right."